The Weeping Willow
by chloeedawsonx
Summary: Just a really sad phanfic that made me cry ;-; AmazingPhil and Danisnotonfire


Each day made it harder and harder for him to keep on smiling, but he knew he had to do it. His footsteps would always lead him along the same path through the trees, the light fading more and more the further he got into the forest.

The ground was thick and crunchy with clusters of fallen Autumn leaves that had been left for the harsh wind and his feet would crackle with every step, though he ignored it and carried on as if it was never there.

His hands secure in the lining of his pockets, once more would his feet take him somewhere he knew better than anywhere else in the world… somewhere the sunlight was lost but a light remained- the only place where he could feel warmth and some form of comfort now.

As the darkness began to clear, he found himself yet again pushing open the rusty iron-wrought gate with one steady hand and hastily closing it behind him before taking one last step onto a new patch of grass that was frosted with the cold.

They would come here every day, their laughs echoing in the distance and scattering the crows from their perch in the old oak trees.

He remembered it even now, though in his current days it was beginning to become hazy along with the rest of his memories.

Memories of who he once was, memories of happier times when he appreciated long walks and stayed on the brighter side of life. Memories of… him.

Of course he missed him, though nobody would ever understand how much he truly did. How much he longed for those days once again, for the feeling of waking up and looking forward to the day ahead again. To the time they would spend together when the camera wasn't there, or even when it was.

His YouTube had been inactive for a long time now. Ever since that day, he had gradually uploaded videos later and later until he had given up completely.

It was just too much.

His fans tried to be as supportive as they could but as the years went by they eventually lost interest and moved on with their own lives, wondering if he would ever be active. Hoping he would but truly knowing he never could again.

He knew that would happen, and he was okay with it. He knew one day it would come to that and over time he just accepted it and let his fans go. He hadn't imagined leaving YouTube this way at all; he wanted leave with _him_… With the most important person in his life, but it was too late. He wanted them both to be the ones to make the video that would announce they were leaving… but they had never gotten round to it. They didn't get that far.

He reached that one familiar spot of grass and sat underneath the branches of an old weeping willow tree that had long since wilted in preparation for Fall. He preferred this particular tree in the Summer, when the braches would be so long that the leaves would be trailing on the ground and rustling in the wind.

He remembered one Summer stronger than any other, when the birds would be singing in the trees and the desolate willow would cast a shadow on the faded path that ran through the forest. He remembered both of them sat underneath the branches, watching the clouds moving across the clear blue sky in a steady motion and wondering about the future, or at least that's what he hoped he would be thinking about too. Besides the birdsong, there was silence in the trees. Not even a whistle of wind had disturbed them.

They had talked to each other before watching the sky about everything. Life mainly, and plans for more videos.

He wanted more than anything to tell _him_ everything. To tell him how he felt. He had kept it in for so long, every girlfriend he brought home hurting him more and more every time as he heard their laughs through the thin walls and having to lie to him every breakfast that he was okay, only tired. He had been so close at times to breaking down and telling him everything, though he was too scared of the outcome.

That day.

He wanted to keep their friendship more than anything, and held onto this. He was pretty sure what the outcome of expressing his feelings would be and he knew it would ruin everything. It just got harder and harder.

That day.

He ignored the frost seeping through his trousers and tried to concentrate on his memories. The good ones at least.

That day.

The memories from that day came back and he had to stop himself from punching the willow's bark, tears streaming down his cheeks and dampening his jumper.

That day was a mistake. One he wished more than anything to alter, if it meant he would be here another day. Even if he had to sacrifice himself for him.

It had started off so ordinary, just a normal Saturday morning for the both of them. The one day of the week he treasured more than any other as it was _their_ day.

Most of it was a blur now.

A squeal of brakes and a horrific thud before his feet came to life and he fell on his knees beside him. He cradled his body close to him and screamed long and hard even when people pulled him away so he could be lifted into the ambulance.

He sat by his bed for hours on end, holding one hand that he could still feel a slight heartbeat through and praying he would get better.

The bleeding was too much, and a long beep from a machine situated beside his bed signalled the awful truth.

He had the task of helping his family with the funeral, since he knew him better than any other person. He was his best friend after all. Halfway through his speech he broke down and couldn't finish the rest, the pain and heartache too strong to continue.

He watched the coffin be lowered slowly into the dark hole as he knew it was all over.

He wiped the tears away that had been left on his old, wrinkled cheeks and pushed his silver hair away from his face before adjusting his jumper and standing up.

It's on those days when he would see those beautiful blue eyes watching him in his memories as he slept that kept him going every day. Those days he wished he could push away his beautiful ebony hair away from his eyes and tell him he looked amazing in glasses.

It's on those days when Dan wanted him back, to have that light back in his life. The days when he could've told him he was crazy but he loved him anyway. He wished he had been the one that Phil thought of every night in his dreams, like he did to him.

It's been a long time now, 50 years. Even now, Dan hasn't forgotten him.

He rested one hand against the tree bark and used it to push himself back up from the floor before placing his left hand on the plaque that was drilled into the tree stump, the only place where the sunlight really shone through and lit up the entire tree.

It read:

'Phillip Michael Lester, 30th January 1987-6th April 2015

The day I'll stop loving you is the day I stop coming to this tree

I still haven't forgotten your Sheagle'

5 years later, a little girl of no more than 5 followed a path through a small patch of land that used to be a forest filled with trees of all shapes and sizes.

She came across an old weeping willow tree that was stood on its own but stood out more than the oak trees in the background. Its leaves were blowing softly in the summer breeze.

She leaned for her mother to pick her up and wiped one small hand over two silver plaques that were next to each other on the old tree.

"Mummy, what does it say?"

The woman sighed softly and held tightly onto the girl.

"It says:

'Daniel James Howell, 11th June 1991-8th October 2065

With you forever Phil'

The girl's eyes lit up with realisation "Dan? Is that my great-great uncle Dan?"


End file.
